Thoughts

White Christmas

2009-12-26T01:29:06Z

I can't believe that Christmas is here and almost done. Where has this year gone? It's been a really tough year for some of my friends and I am so hoping that 2010 brings a better year for them.

Snow and crazy stuff going on outside...I love the idea of a white Christmas but...HATE cold weather.

Tomorrow have avoided the MIL and her shopping stuff....going with one of my girls...Julie and will enjoy it. No real plans just getting out and happy that it's only Saturday.

Holiday Season

2009-12-23T23:11:17Z

It's not snowing..it's raining here...rumor has it that there will be a white holiday in Missouri...you never know. I am more of a spring/fall gal myself.

I want to do more creative stuff in 2010 - no this is not a resolution - just a 'want'.

I send my thoughts out to those that are not having such a great time right now...Rhom and Alex...you all are so in my thoughts daily and I so hope that 2010 brings you much more positive than negative in your lives you deserve more good. You have suffered enough for whatever penance you are paying for whatever the powers that be feel needs to be done...enough already you have done more than your share. Hope that I can find things that you may need/want...let me know how Miss Keely is doing and if she needs anything / clothes, etc and I can see what I can send your way. Love those postal boxes with a flat rate...I can fill 'em up. So let me know...send me an email or a message thru LJ or FB on things you need - I want to help if I can. Hugs.

I am tired of MIL and her 'I want to go shopping' crap. I am not going to do that. I am planning on spending time with a friend the day after the 25th. If she doesn't like it then tough. We helped her out with TWO years of personal taxes and still hasn't learned...she spends like she has it and since the SIL and BIL are not paying her for watching the boys anymore (they used to) she is on an even tighter budget but still spends like she has more than she really does.

I am thankful that I do not have to go back to work until 1-4 and hope to get a lot done at home that I want to do and get some creative time as well.

Seriously want to do a 'care' package for my friend...so send me sizes of your daughter tops, bottoms, shoes and if you all need stuff like that too....since A has lost so much weight I am sure that things are hanging off him. Love you all - and am thinking of you constantly.

Just rambling.

Eyeballs hurt

2009-12-18T01:28:00Z

What can I say...it is going to be a LONG 12 weeks while my girl is on maternity leave....working 2 jobs blows...I am in for a long break when she gets back...

eyes hurt, brain exhausted...tired in general and sick to boot...who knew that much snot could come out of a nose in one blowing. sheez

projects are piling up in the hobby room and I haven't the energy to do it..I'll have to force myself to get down there this weekend.

Seriously don't want to go to the MILs on Saturday and sure as hell don't want to go with her shopping as that really pisses me off...hyprocrit...she bitched about my SIL when she lost her job and wasn't paying her to watch her grandsons like they were but when out last Christmas and spent money on gaming system etc....but it's ok for her to shop and spend money even though we paid her past TWO years of personal property taxes because she was too broke to pay them!! Yes the past TWO years....I grind my teeth when she says...wanna hit the after Christmas sales? Um HELL not you can't afford to pay a $50 property tax bill but you can afford to spend fucking money on shit you don't need!? nuff said...yes I am bitter and will probably hold yet another grudge on my MIL for her total lack of financial ability and budgeting. she has checks...she thinks she has money...hell that's what happened when the spouse and I got hitched...she said she would pay the photographer as part of our wedding present...she bounced THREE checks to him...imagine my embarrassment...I paid for the photography and never got a 'sorry I didn't come thru on the photographer like I PROMISED I would' statement.

Bitter - still and yes.

Off the soap box....on to washing my face and possibly heading to bed.

Friday...

2009-12-11T23:17:44Z

Friday...

Today is my spouse's father's birthday...61st b-day. He got into a huge fight with his live in woman whom he cheated on my spouse's mother for 10 of the almost 25 yrs they were married and now is so drunk he is passed out ... I know I should feel bad for him but I don't really respect cheaters - he should have had the balls to speak up stating he wasn't happy and just leave instead of putting his family thru hell and is now doing it again. I hope for my spouse that things work out for the best. I do not want that man in our house AT ALL and will pitch a fit if he is to move here...even for a little while.

Company holiday dinner and the afternoon off. It was nice but what sucks is I am getting sick with a sore throat and have the husky voice...perhaps I can just earn some extra money on a 1-900 calls? doubtful

Spouse is going to baby sit the nephews tonight...I want to get creative but really want to sleep. Perhaps tomorrow. I might just do that then. Spouse is going to Blue Springs - I was to go to St Louis but my girlfriend is sick...so postpone for a bit. I really wish we had a Gordman's here.

Tired....

Hang on to your socks!!

2009-12-09T23:49:41Z

Holy mother of all that is holy...it's windy as all get out and the wind chills are below 0. Um that totally sucks and I have to hold on to the girls when we go out so they don't get blown away..not really but it seems that bad.

I am in the process of crossing off my to do list...love doing that..one of the things is sending PaigeMom a box of yarn...it's packaged up just need to get my rear to the post office to send it and my package to my friend over seas. Does UPS do over seas cheaper than the post office?

Work is getting really crazy as the 'Eastern' Region can't handle any more claims and have stopped taking them for a while to get a handle on the ones they have so you can imagine the work load crap that is coming our way (Col ofc and KC ofc) in the Western Region. Sheez!

Weekend is coming and if weather permits - I'll be taking a day trip to see my girlfriend in St.Louis to check out her new house and do some light Christmas shopping - really just stocking stuffers and hope to stop in Warrenton to pick up some wine on the way home.

House is decorated for the holidays and looks nice...hard to believe that we are living in this house..it's like the old one but different in some ways other than the floor plan is flipped. I like it better and it's way closer to work. But if we sell it and make a profit someday that is fine.

Need to get off my rear - feed the kids and then get working on some painting projects that I need to get done...that is if my hands stop shaking...damned shakes..they come and go..

Stay warm folks...it's colder than a Witches....it'll freeze the ... well let's just say it is friggin cold.

whew

2009-12-05T04:01:43Z

Finally house is decorated for the holidays. Total shock that the spouse bought an artificial tree...less mess and pricklies but believe it or not I miss the smell of a real tree but this way by having this one ... I would like to think that is one less tree cut down.

Almost done with holiday shopping..

Have x-mas card addressed and I have signed them just waiting on spouse to sign and I'll have that done.

My to do list is never ending but then what would one do without one?

Work is still the same and it really gets on ones nerves...my girlfriend is about to pop with baby #2 any day now...I will be taking on her work load along with my own...oh joys...thankfully she and I have the same anal work style so that will be fine. I'd rather it be this way as she wouldn't want tons of people in her files to make it hard when she gets back from leave. I'll just be very busy for 12 wks after she has baby.

Glad it's Friday.

Also ... my youngest...Miss Chloe...attempted to take on a black lab last Friday....apparently the neighbor let his pooches out to do business...they are very sweet and wouldn't hurt you.. well the black lab decided to come over to say Hi...Ellie being herself..decided to bark letting me know. 'hey dog coming' Chloe..barked then Miss Lab came onto the back porch..Chloe started with the not friendly growl and then sounded like she was planning on ripping that lab a new one. Amazing..our little chicken dog was sticking up for her mama. Made me smile at her..well after I got them inside without Miss Lab trying to come into hang out and play.

I almost forgot...how can I forget...

2009-11-25T23:28:25Z

I was THRILLED that Donnie Osmond won DWTS!!! I so did not want Mya to win. Kellie was a surprise for the finals but she came a long way and did a very good job.

Woot for Donnie!

Week away from work

2009-11-25T23:26:25Z

I am extremely happy that I didn't work this week.

Monday I had an appt with my primary care physician only to sit 1/2 an hour past my appt time (9:15 am) and I was a bit grumpy as I didn't eat in case they wanted to draw blood. But done and puttered around town and X-mas shopped.

Tuesday - did some major X-mas shopping and had to go to the dentist at 3:15 only to find out the filling that they had re-done that was previously re-done is chipping away and there is a hole in my filling...dentist stuck a sharp pointy thing in the hole and I about jumped out of the chair and threaten bodily harm. All and all the dentist said that eventually will need a root canal but 'put some varnish on it' they did and I have to change my tooth paste. He said he will do a root canal when it REALLY is hurting. Joy.

Today - I planned to hang out in the hobby room doing my thing. Get a call from the dr ofc from Monday that my blood test was wonky for my bili rubin (aka liver enzymes and need to have more blood taken. damned vampires. Did that at 1 ish and the spouse asked that I return the games that he rented. I did that, rented new ones. Then grabbed a burrito from Taco Bell and ate about 1/2 of it and went over to the dr ofc. Back home to work on more stuff in the hobby room. I noticed that my pumpkins were getting yucky so I bagged them up. Now I sit.

Not what I expected for my week away from work

misc stuff

2009-11-18T14:39:05Z

Weather has been crappy - rainy and cold. Thankfully we don't have the sleet/slush that others have experienced. I feel for them. I would rather have snow that the sleet/slush crap if I had to pick between the two.

Holidays are looming...for some reason I am not much for the holiday stuff...granted I love listening to Christmas music for some reason, oldies not the new stuff...was just listening to Dean Martin singing 'baby it's cold out side' the other day and it made me smile. Times have changed since I was a kid. Less snow during the holidays (thanks to global warming), more people stressing about super expensive gifts (whatever happened to being thrilled with the little things?), misc crap that you get as gifts that you never wanted and do not need and would rather just be with loved ones instead of the crappy stuff you don't need/want. Food focused (now I like that to an extent)and forcing you to be with people you don't want to be around (some of the freakin' in-laws and I am sure just some family in general for families). The expense of the holidays along with real estate and personal property taxes is just too much.

Illness, cold/flu/crap is getting worse and no end in sight.

Thankful to have a job but tired of nit picky bullshit that comes with it, but I am sure that any job has that to an extent.

Speaking of Job I suppose I should get back to it.

Excuse me Mother Nature?

2009-11-08T00:53:15Z

Apparently she is in a good mood as we have awesome weather this weekend. Windows open and airing out the house. Can't believe it. I so love it.

Wondering what tomorrow will bring..I am hoping to get some cleaning done but then ...perhaps pull up the mums that are croaking out and maybe do some stuff in the craft studio and perhaps make some dog cookies and people cookies?

I could have this weather everyday...well cooler in the evenings and then perhaps snow at Christmas.

Misc stuff

2009-11-05T14:04:25Z

Not much new - Halloween party was a hit - though I did not like having 40+ people in my house and having to clean up the next day. All in all it wasn't that messy but the basement floor was sticky from spilled drinks. Thankfully it's stained concrete and moppable.

Weird that I am barely keeping my head above water at work. I don't understand it. I have been swamped with files blowing up and such. Hopefully today with no meetings scheduled that I'll be able to dig in and get things done..that is if I get my ass in gear.

Having the weirdest dreams lately...I don't understand them at all. Usually I can figure out what triggered my dream (book I read before bed, program I watched last, people I just talked to) but mutant cockroaches and the space shuttle? Beats the heck out of me.

Also having some health issues with being 'regular' in the bathroom dept. I haven't done anything different my body just decided to throw that wrench in things. Hopefully it will work itself out. Sigh. Drinking lots of fluids and eating fiber....sorry if that is TMI.

Well off to work...to try and weed down some crap.

Thursday evening...

2009-10-30T03:01:51Z

It's rainy and I have a sleeping dog next to me. I don't have to work tomorrow as I took the day off and am getting ready for our first ever costume party. I am sorta excited but such a home body that I don't like 50+ people in my house and not leaving until the wee hours of the morning.

Perhaps I am becoming a hermit...I could sure stay home all the time..well with the exception of going for sushi or getting my books and crafts and occasional starbucks.

I hope that all have a good Halloween and everyone is safe.

In other news...

2009-10-23T12:27:20Z

Got a call from the doc ofc from where I had my annual 'yuck' exam last Friday. Apparently my 'test' didn't have good results and therefore I am on meds as a result of that abnormality. With the meds that I am taking they have some serious side effects and if I have my evening glass of wine...that will make me violently ill. Oh the joys.

Very tired and all I want to do is sleep. I know the weather is not helping..all the rain and coldness. Not a big fan of cold weather at all. I like the crispness of fall but not wet and cold. Thankfully today is Friday.

Mid week stuff

2009-10-21T22:05:32Z

Well there must be someone out there listening...electric issues at work caused the transformer to NOT work and we were sent home and they hope to have it up and going tomorrow. Hot Dog! Only thing is that work will pile up while we are out but I ran some errands and went to Qs for lunch w/Chelsea..very nice.

Just hanging out with sleeping dogs at the moment and loving it.

Waking up with headaches each morning and really not liking it.

Spouse hosts the MMA fights each month..I don't really get it the idea of 2 guys beating the crap out of each other and people pay to watch this stuff...so we have a house full of people on Saturday night and then next weekend is Halloween and we are having a costume gathering on Friday the 30th. Yet more stuff to do..what do I do...sit here and just veg for a while.

Tired and feeling confused...dr did change my meds and that will start soon. Feel bad for being on meds...perhaps I can work on whatever it is to get off them. In due time I suppose.

ok I'll admit it...

2009-10-20T00:09:11Z

I am hooked on watching DWTS...sigh.

Monday sadness

2009-10-19T17:45:40Z

A co-worker of mine is having to put down her family pet of 15 yrs. He has had a good life but it is very heart breaking as this was their 'first' child. They have since had 3 kids who have grown to love the dog just as much. I feel like crying with her. I know that our beloved pets can't be with us forever but it is very hard to see them go. I have known several people in the past month or so that have had to put their beloved pets down. This makes 3. To me things happen in 3s but it is not always good things.

What is magic about the number 3? Why is it that it seems that things happen in a series of them? I don't understand and perhaps wasn't meant to.

Does it help to talk about your pet that you have lost or are losing? Does it help?

One more work day left

2009-10-15T13:01:46Z

A Thursday morning...dreary and makes me want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head and hide from the world. I know it doesn't work but it sounds nice.

I am a tad bit freaked out this morning after a night of really awful repeating dreams about a person that I met several years ago. She and her spouse have since moved to Colorado and she is very much into knitting and crochet and making her own yarn. But I kept dreaming she was in a horrible car accident. Now I haven't talked to her in quite some time and didn't have anything that would have sparked me to think of her prior to going to bed. So I was a little wigged out this morning. Will be checking on her later.

Weekends are booking up with activities - mainly due to my spouse and his active life with his friends and wants to include me...now that is fine but I am a semi-recluse...like my 'me' time and my own time to read, work on creative outlets that sort of thing.

I am going to the 'yuck' doctor tomorrow - think I am going to have a talk with him and tell him the meds that he put me on (for stress etc) are really not helping and either get off them or discuss other alternatives. I know my blood pressure is part stress (work) related and family history (my mother) also if I probably dropped about 10 lbs that would help it. I like eating...I like my glass of wine...sigh. I don't like the handful of meds that I take each night for high blood pressure, high cholesterol then OTC meds for it as well and multi- vitamin etc. Also is it part of getting older that you can't ever sleep through the night unless you have medication to help you sleep? I am always waking up and am usually awake from about 3am to 4am on.

As one can tell - I so do not want to work (what's new right?) and if I get my rear in gear...I might dig myself out of the hole I am in and it will be better work load wise.

Sunday Evening

2009-10-12T02:30:45Z

It's Sunday evening and it was a crazy day...well sorta..got up only to take a brief nap then to go down and work on the painted milk tin I am doing for a friend. Another coat of protectent and it should be done.

Dinner (early) with some friends then on to the Jeff Dunham show ... it was funny but I don't know if it was worth what my spouse paid for the tickets.

I don't have to work tomorrow and am happy for that. No we don't get Columbus Day off..I just took it off because I am tired of being yelled at and people (Injured Workers) trying to take advantage of me to get benefits when they are not entitled to them.

I am meeting some girls for lunch but think that I will spend the rest of the day at home doing what I want to do. Granted I want to go shopping but know that is not in the budget so I'll put that off.

This weekend was not all that great - pissed at the spouse on Friday so very much...made me feel insignificant and not important. NOT a good feeling and I let him know that. Not that I think it did any good. I am tired of people only thinking of themselves and not of others...like their loved ones. Tired of selfishness...Just tired.

What is my deal? life insecurity? dis-satisfaction with everything? I don't know.

elliesgirl @ 2009-10-07T07:53:00

2009-10-07T13:04:43Z

Seems like a lot of folks I know are having their own troubles to deal with. I really wish that chaos would freakin' slow down for everyone.

I get a WC claim in yesterday on a Hispanic individual who is attempting to claim he was bitten in a stand of tall grass while mowing for his employer. Tell me...how did said brown recluse get under his jeans to bite him on the leg? Those little buggers that I am aware of can't bite thru pants and I really doubt that it crawled up his pant leg or down the waistband of his pants while he was mowing. And his girlfriend says she saw a dead BROWN SPIDER WITH WHITE MARKINGS ON ITS ABDOMEN by his bed the morning he started complaining of the bite. Also the SOB doesn't speak much English and has a valid social security number but has been in the states for 7-8 yrs. That is a pet peeve of mine - Visit sure, have a valid green card or work visa sure, but if you are planning to stay in the US - learn to speak the native language. Just my opinion.

Sigh

Mundane Monday

2009-10-05T20:30:03Z

The week starts, with a jeans week. Good but had to pay $5 to do it. Whatever happened to just doing something for free (wearing jeans to work without having to pay for them)?

Did some yard work yesterday - put out more pumpkins and such and raked the mulch to spruce it up only to realize that we don't have that much on the flower beds. Need more mulch but don't want to screw with it.

Just having one of those blah days. Have a feeling of unsureity (I know not a real work but it describes how I am feeling) that something bad/wrong is about to happen - I sure hope that this feeling won't come to fruition.

I don't honestly think my meds I started taking approx 2 mo ago are really doing me any good. I honestly don't feel any different and I don't think I am acting any different that I can tell. Will discuss with doctor when I go later this month for my 'yuck' doctor appt. Perhaps medication isn't what I need? What I need is probably a good kick in the rear.

Finally Friday..

2009-10-03T03:23:48Z

It is finally Friday but I am so busy/swamped at work that I will have to go in tomorrow to get my head above water.

Winds are blowing like crazy outside and the dogs are sacked out. Weather is going to be cooler this weekend.

Took the MIL to dinner tonight for her b-day. Spouse is going to watch the NASCAR race. I do not get that sport (if you call it that) on Saturday and Sunday so I won't be seeing him.

Headed over to a girlfriend's house to check on her critters tomorrow and Sunday - pick up the mail etc.

Tired but not able to sleep. go figure

Finally mid week

2009-09-23T12:56:17Z

This week has not been very good. Stress level with crap at work has caused a cold sore to pop up over night (seriously). Sleep is in the toilet and I am frustrated that Ellie thinks the world revolves around her belly growling. She seems to think that at 4:30 in the morning she needs breakfast. Then will proceed to get up about every 10 to 15 minutes until 5:30 and I can't take it and wind up just getting up (normally get up about 5:45).

Our CFO was terminated either late Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning. That caused quite a stir as there have been some very steamy/nasty rumors going all around - I doubt that they are true but who knows. Very weird.

I did work on some creative stuff last night just to get off the couch and 'do' something to get my mind off the current crap and not to just sit and read - wanted to be somewhat productive. It did help - the 'kids' were hanging out laying in either their baskets or the couch chewing on their rawhides.

I am going to have injured workers yelling at me today...honestly I really am getting tired of it.

My eyeballs are drying out

2009-09-17T20:48:45Z

I have been working at my computer so much at work this week my eyeballs are drying out and I am mentally drained when I get home. I am handling my work load and my co-workers while she is on vacation this week. I am busy and you would think that time would go by fast...um no and I am stiff from sitting so long.

Glad that tomorrow is Friday. Not glad that we will have influx of people at our house on Saturday night for stupid MMA fight. Honestly two guys beating the shit out of each other does NOT amuse me.

I am frustrated and pissy and need to vent my anger...I haven't a clue other than PMS and I can honestly say that my pills I was put on about a month ago aren't seeming to help me. Perhaps that is not what I am needing? I need my head to be knocked on the desk so I just pass out and not deal with the stuff for a while.

Randomness...

2009-09-14T23:56:58Z

Sunday dog antics all within an hour of each other. We get up at the butt crack of dawn to feed the little turds because that's what they are used to and to keep them on a schedule. I gate them back in the bedroom and go back to bed. About 10 minutes go by and I am not with my usual dog by my knees...Ask my spouse where they are 'dunno under the bed and in the dog bed?'. Look for the dogs - they can only be in the bathroom or the laundry room w/the exception of our closets. My door is shut - his is open ..no dogs. We keep hearing scratching noises...I finally open the door to my closet and apparently the door had been open a bit and both of the little farts went in and hit the door shutting them inside my closet. When I open the door....they come busting out so happy...crazy mutts.

Take a shower to get ready to go to breakfast (we have no groceries in the house and are going to get some) big shower we both fit...washing hair and look out and Chloe is standing staring at us...spouse opens the door she walks right in...we think she will get wet and run right out..nope she just hangs out in the shower with us. We take off her collar and big sister sits on the bathroom dog bed just watching probably thinking her little sister is nuts for willingly getting wet. Such a silly little dog.

Today...I was um being a 'shit' in a funny yet good way as PaigeMom will find out soon. From her recent posts...I hope what she finds will be enjoyed.

I was quite busy due to my 'buddy' is on vacation this week. I actually have enough to keep me well occupied for the days ahead.

I did go to Home Depot after work and pick up mums for the back deck and planted them. I like the flowers and they are supposed to be hearty ones. Fingers are crossed that we have them for a while on the deck for viewing enjoyment.

4 more days left this week...holy cow.

Frustration at it's best

2009-09-10T12:48:38Z

I have had it with this place and the nit-picky bullshit that they do. If you don't have a fucking box checked you get an AOD (area of development) if you have documented in one place but not their 'preferred' place you get an AOD. I am do tired of all this bull shit that I would seriously quit if we didn't need my stable income and benefits.

No more am I volunteering for anything - unless I am told I am on a committee by the mgmt. I am just going to do my fucking job and that's it.

Frustrated doesn't even cover it but I do not have any descriptive words to describe how much I HATE the politics here and their fucking rules and forms to fill out.

HATE THIS PLACE!!!!